How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do Anarchists only drink herbal tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do bees say to psych themselves up at the start of their day?

Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What about my atm card which holds all my money?

Any 4 numbers in a row."

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

Spin Jokes More Spin Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb?

Violent revolutions never change anything.

How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

How many spoiled rich girls does it take... ...to change a light bulb?

Just one, she yells, "DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of Absinthe.

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.