What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

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Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

Masterbate Jokes More Masterbate Jokes

What do you call a cow masterbating?

Beef stroganoff

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD