Masterbate Jokes

What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

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What do you call a cow masterbating?

Beef stroganoff

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

What do you call 100 cows masterbating ?

Beef Strokenoff

What do you call a rapper who masterbates a lot?

Lil Wayne-ker

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

What do you call a masterbating cow?

Beef stroganoff

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

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Xd Jokes More Xd Jokes

What is the best way to receive downvotes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny! XD

What Do You Call A 7 Second Minecraft Video?

VINECRAFT DO IT FOR THE MINE XD

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

How do Australians sleep?

With their heads at the foot of the bed.

What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

How do you get 100 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say "hey, you Canadians! Get out of that swimming pool!"

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

A: The White House.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon?

It don't need cleaning!

Why do we need to go to college?

Student: Why do we need to go to college? Teacher: So we can get a high paying job Student: Why do we need a high paying job Teacher: So we can get lots of money Student: Why do we need lots of money Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen?

There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

Decalfinated

How do you get dragon milk?

A cow with short legs

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I don't know, I just click "submit"

What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.