What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How about a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office?

He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer.

What Happens when the Cubs win the World Series?

They Leave a Trail of Tears

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why did the peanut go to jail?

He was a-roasted peanut.

What do you call a peanut with a cold?

Cashew! she was so proud of herself for making me laugh with this one.