What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

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Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says, "Hey you, get offa' my cloud." A Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get offa' my ewe."

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

Trouser Jokes More Trouser Jokes

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

What did the suspenders say to the trousers?

What's up, britches?!