What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

What's the difference between a $1000 used car and a Rolls-Royce?

One's a grand car and the other's a grand car

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?

Bicycle petals !

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you split $6 between 5 mexicans?

You cut *Juan* out.

What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*1023 times?

Guacamole

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What's an Australian Kiss?

A French kiss down under ;) *first post here, a coworker of mine told me the joke. Go easy :)*

What did the Australian say when he won a game of chess?

Cheers, mate.

Wrist Jokes More Wrist Jokes

What type of wrists are the scariest?

Terror wrists.

Where's the best place to pick up a girl who plays hard-to-get?

Around the ankles and wrists :D