What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What kind of light makes the best US president?

A blinkin' light

Why did the light turn red?

You would too if you were caught changing in the middle of the street!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?

Because Americans use imperial unit system.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call a Mexican cutting a Mobius Strip??

Juan.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why do Australians always win 4D chess?

Double check, mate

What do Australians say when they go to bed?

G'night mate

Wrist Jokes More Wrist Jokes

What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?

Making their wrist look like their jeans. (I'm sorry)

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?