What do you call 2 crackers arguing?

White noise.

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Why can't New Yorkers play chess?

They're short 2 towers.

Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest?

the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones

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What about Take Me On?

4 hrs of arguing later "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.