What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

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What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$?

He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay.

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No pun in ten did!

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How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.