What do you get when you kiss a sick bird?

Cherpies.

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How do birds kiss?

They give a peck to the cheek.

Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

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What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

What do you call a sick bird?

An illegal.