What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night?

1 AM feeling very sleepy.

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What, How is that possible!?

Vader: I felt your presents. Luke: NOOOOOOO

Where does a cow go when he is so upset he doesn't feel like talking?

A moo'd specialist.

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What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

What value is higher than infinity?

Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry.

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What did the German clock maker say to the clock that would only go "tick tick tick?

Vee have vays of making you tock!

Why did the parasite listen to the clock?

A: Because it liked the tick talk.