What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?

Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !

How do you count cows?

You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's on at the cinema?

Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

you don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

When she found out she said "ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Yes, I'm not kidding you." he said.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Eel Jokes More Eel Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

How do eels get around the seabed?

They go by octobus.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.