Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What's wrong with Andrew Jackson?

He had an Underground Rail Road too, called the Trail of Tears.

What did the ancient Greek mother say when her sons toga got torn?

Euripides, Eumenides

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is it called when the police work overtime?

Copper Nitrate.

How does a Bee get to work?

He catches a buzz.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

Why don't oysters like to share?

Because they're shellfish.

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

What hand do you wipe with?

Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Sunset Jokes More Sunset Jokes

What's a zombie's favorite pop song?

Dead sails in the sunset.

What's John Cena's favourite part of the sunset?

The CENAry

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*