Wipe Jokes

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

a soviet

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

What do the U.S.S. Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common?

They both wipe out Klingons.

What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

She wiped her arse.

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

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What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?

Wipe away those ears.

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What hand do you wipe with?

Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

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What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

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What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror?

A narcissistick.

When does a hunger strike stop?

When hunger strikes.

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What food are you able to can?

Cannibal (can able) food.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He flushed.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell secrets on the farm?

The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk.

What's tall, white and has ears?

A mountain.

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What Happens when the Cubs win the World Series?

They Leave a Trail of Tears

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert?

A Standing Blow-vation.

Henry Viii Jokes More Henry Viii Jokes

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

Decap.

Cloth Jokes More Cloth Jokes

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

What do maids in Manhattan use to clean their kitchens?

J-lo Cloths