Wipe Jokes

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

a soviet

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

What do the U.S.S. Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common?

They both wipe out Klingons.

What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

She wiped her arse.

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

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What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?

Wipe away those ears.

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What hand do you wipe with?

Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Swipe Jokes More Swipe Jokes

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What did Dora say when Swiper got ahold of her tinder?

Swiper no swiping!!

Trail Jokes More Trail Jokes

What do you call a couple of Irish guys hiking in the woods?

Trail micks.

Why was the Trail of Tears so hard on the Native Americans?

It's not easy to hike a trail when you're always falling down drunk.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

Why did the little boy use his inhaler?

No wheezin'"

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Which is the most communist vegetable?

The soviet Onion

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE?

because it's too cold out-tide.

How do Reavers clean their spears?

They send them through the Wash.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is the only thing that will be "Feeling the Bern"?

Working people's wallets.

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?

So you're the one.... (only if you answered "i don't know")

What does an Australian use instaed of toilet paper?

Bidet, mate.