What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

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Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you want for Christmas?

Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend

What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What do you call a chinese crab who just got dumped?

A frustacean

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand?

A leprachaun's undivided attention.

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

What happened to the cowboy when he said that he was sick of washing cowhides at his side of the dairy?

He was sent to the udder side

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...