Dump Jokes

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He flushed.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

Why was the web server down?

Mary Jane dumped him.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

She wiped her arse.

What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend?

Disoriented.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

How Long Does It Take A Black Woman To Take A Dump?

9 months.

Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him?

Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY.

Where did William Tell take his garbage?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump.

Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

His place is a dump

What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?

Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What do you call a chinese crab who just got dumped?

A frustacean

What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

Down's in the dumps

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend?

Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.

Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

Why did Spock dump his wife?

because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

What about the other baby?

Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere

What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor?

That's no gouda

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

How can a beautiful girl like you be single?

Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?

If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump

Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

Because she didn't like his lack of commitment

What does Madeleine McCann and Bin Laden have in common?

They both got their backdoors smashed in before being dumped in the sea

Why did the banker dump his girlfriend?

He lost interest.

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

What did Ryu say when he was taking a dump?

IMMM-DUKEN!'"

Whats the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

Having to drop the bomb on them twice before they get it.

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?

A. Hump me dump me!!

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

Why was the 6'6" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9" girlfriend dumped him?

A: He was nuts over her.

How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack?

He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!

This joke may have profanity.

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Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

Who will I share the sunset with now?

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What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you say to a girlfriend who calls you a lazy couch potato?

Well let me tell you...

What should you do if your girlfriend is choking?

Back up a couple of inches.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why don't blacks like Tylenol?

They have to pick cotton to get to them.

Where's the best place to pick up a girl who plays hard-to-get?

Around the ankles and wrists :D

Mary Jane Jokes More Mary Jane Jokes

Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane?

So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Washer Jokes More Washer Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?

A towel full of loads

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk?

You're gonna be pooped after this.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He flushed.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.