What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the space shuttle and a 2.5 kiloton bomb?

The crew.

What's the difference between a C4 and a feminist?

The C4 does something when it's triggered.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the other nose say to the other nose when it was crying?

It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

Down's in the dumps

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous?

Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How do redneck Na'vi get their skin tone?

Blue Genes... I'll be here all week

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

How do you tell if someone online is American?

They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)

What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies?

Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

How many cross-dressers live near Manchester?

Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address.

Why do we feel the need to order beers in round?

It's beer pressure.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine?

AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.