How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?

A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Why do shoes get sad... Why do shoes get sad when they lose their matching shoe?

Because they lost their solemate

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween? A "booquet" of flower.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What's wrong with little Timmy?

Mom, sad): He went to Jared.

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend