How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you say to your girlfriend with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

Because he is forever a loan.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

Why did Subway take Jared so seriously?

It was obvious he was kidding.

Why did Jared from Subway call Boyz2Men?

He thought they had delivery service.