Tom Jokes

What did Tom hanks do in the woods?

He took a forrest dump.

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What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

What to you call an Eskimo peeping Tom?

Tommy Tookalook

What's a bear's favorite fruit?

Tom ( ). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug:

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom?

Tukaluk

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Who's that running?

Not Tom

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

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What do you call a peeping Tom cat?

A Purrr-vert.

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ?

Mice cubes !

What do you call five tomatoes?

A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER.

Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?

Cot-on-wool.

Tom Brady Jokes More Tom Brady Jokes

How did Tom Brady's feel after losing to the Broncos?

Deflated

What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop?

Your tires are low.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How many tries does it take to get to the front page?

A LOT.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

Pikachu Jokes More Pikachu Jokes

What does Brock say?

Ash told me you were in here and I should take a pikachu. I'm sorry...

Why Yao-Ming tries to catch Pikachu?

He's from Team Rocket

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

a rhetorical answer

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Tom Cruise Jokes More Tom Cruise Jokes

What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails?

A cruiseifixion.

What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?

Tom Cruise

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.