How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why don't people like talking about herpes?

It's a sore subject.

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on.

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

Why did the interrupting cow cross the road?

MOOOOOO!!!!

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

Why does Daenerys Targaryen listen to Hoagy Carmichael?

Because she's got Jorah on Her Mind.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Listening to an antijoke.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

How is this joke similar to a musical about a thesaurus?

Both are a play on words.

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays