How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a wife and a dog?

The later you get home, the happier one is to see you

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What did the alien say to the gas pump ?

Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !

How do you know an engineer is an extrovert?

He stares at shoes while he talks to you.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

What's the main difference between light and hard?

I can go to sleep with a light on

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What's the best thing about being black?

Not having to listen to awful dad jokes.

What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep?

Salt.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?

He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word.