How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Snoop Dogg lose control of his Pontiac?

The drizzle

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

Why did the 16 year old girl get pregnant?

She went to Jared.

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

30 Pound Jokes More 30 Pound Jokes

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute?

Go to England and buy something