Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

Where does Santa get presents for bad kids?

Kohl's.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

How many bitter Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, we've decided to let a man do the job.

Why did the chicken decide not to cross the road?

because it did.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

What s the weight of a hipster?

One Insta-gramm

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery boss?

Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.

Why does Hollywood loveee to hire British Actors?

Cheap labor.

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

Why did the fianc say "Yes!" and why did the little boy say "No!"?

He went to Jared.

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.