Gain Jokes

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

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What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money?

Blacking out and gaining money.

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

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What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

What do you do when you want to hold a bunny?

You grabbit.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What did the right eye said to the left?

Between me and you, "something smells".

Campaign Jokes More Campaign Jokes

What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost

What is the main position candidate Jim Webb is campaigning on?

Debate time reform.

Armed Force Jokes More Armed Force Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

Player Jokes More Player Jokes

What was the end scored?

Player: "1:1"

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?

Rabbit Hood.