Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why do Russians go crazy over pho?

Because... they are so viet *ba dum tss*

Why was WWI so short?

Because they were Russian... Why was WWII so long? They were Stalin...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do Republicans use rulers?

They want everything to be straight.

What website do emo kids use for business networking?

LinkedIn Park

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ?

Tsardines !

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

Torture Jokes More Torture Jokes

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

What do you call a peanut with a cold?

Cashew! she was so proud of herself for making me laugh with this one.

Cold War Jokes More Cold War Jokes

Why did the cold war last so long?

The US couldn't stop Stalin.

Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.