Torture Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

How do you torture Hellen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

You might also enjoy:

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call Russian trees?

Dimitrees

Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories?

Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Why do bees stay in their hive during Winter?

Swarm.

Dyslexic Jokes More Dyslexic Jokes

Why don't dyslexics like the story of King Arthur?

They think it's about the romance and majesty of Camelto.

What is the collective noun for three dyslexics?

A riot.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part of running a marathon?

Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!

What's the best part about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag's a plus.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital?

Doctor Dolittle

How about that airplane food?

Edit: I'm so sorry.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the simplest way to make edibles?

Using an easy-bake oven.

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between MLK day and St. Patty's day?

On St Patty's day everyone wants to be Irish.

Why were there only 49 contestants in the National Ebonics Beauty Pageant?

Nobody wanted to wear the sash that says "Idaho".