Torture Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

How do you torture Hellen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Grey Jokes More Grey Jokes

Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom?

Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ?

A jet propelled elephant !

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ?

A cat-a-logue !

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

Kermit the Fog !

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Why did the Soviets pull their missiles out?

Because they feared a premature ejectulation

What do you call the cook on a Soviet battleship?

The khrushchev

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

What do you call peanuts in space?

Astronuts!

What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?

An astronut.

Unwilling Agnostic Jokes More Unwilling Agnostic Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

What is a double-blind study?

Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do windmills feel about renewable energy?

They're pretty big fans

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did King Midas say to the centaur?

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out?

Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)