How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why did the pentagon change it's name to the square?

Because they were cutting corners.

How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What does it take to make Mother Russia pregnant?

A soviet seamen

What did Russia say to Ukraine?

Crimea River

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.

How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Gulag to you too.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!