What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day?

Pooping

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

Poope Jokes More Poope Jokes

How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case: