What is the best way to watch the "Saw" films?

In bits and pieces.

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Why cant you watch TV in Afghanistan?

Because of the tele-ban.

Why do rednecks like the doggie position?

That way they can both watch wrestling.

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What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in it's eye?

Chicken caesar salad.

What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !

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What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

What's the best way to bring out your inner child?

A coat hanger

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What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What do you do if hou are cold?

If you ever get cold, stand in a corner for a bit. They are usually 90 degrees.