What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave?

Deputin

What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave?

Shoplifting

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital?

ICU

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to?

Klondike Bars

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man wearing cling-film?

I can clearly see you're nuts

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

Oncologist Jokes More Oncologist Jokes

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist.

What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist