What kind of dog is the most colorful?

A paint Bernard!

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What kind of dog is this?

Well actu.." "Hes cute" *pets it* "Sir thats my.." *picks it up* "Your a good dog arent you " "PUT MY SON DOWN"

What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?

The wrong answer.

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What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

What kind of genie only grants wishes to men?

A misogenie.

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What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A complaint Bernard!

Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?

Bernard pushed him under a truck...