What kind of fruit can't get married?

A Cantleope

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Why did the Geometry major marry a Brit?

Because she was a cute angle.

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

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What kind of flour is independent?

Self-Raising flour.. I'll get my coat.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A: A counter spy.

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Why did the fruit leave office?

because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"