Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do vultures hate flying?

Because they have to pay extra for Carrion! Budum tsssss

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common? .. They both like a tight seal *What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock? .. A lemon shaped rock *What is brown and sticky? ..A brown stick

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What turns a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone?

A banana-nana-nana Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies?

A rotisserie chicken

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.