Lemon Jokes

Where do lemons go to jail?

Lemonworth

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What do you call a lemon staring at an elderly lady?

Citric Flaccid

What do you call a Jamaican redditor?

Lemon

What do quantum physicists do when life gives them lemons?

Everything

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common? .. They both like a tight seal *What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock? .. A lemon shaped rock *What is brown and sticky? ..A brown stick

Why did the lemon go sour?

Because it had Lemon-Aids

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.

How do you help a lemon?

Lemon-aid.

What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?

A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

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What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?

Inzest

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

Where did you get so many lemons?

Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, Watson.."

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

Why did the lemon turn green?

Because he had lime disease

What's your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon?

Mine's embalming fluid.

What did the dyslexic man do when life gave him lemons?

He made melon-ade

Why are crocodiles brown and flat?

A: Because if they were yellow and round, they'd be lemons.

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

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Beverage Jokes More Beverage Jokes

How do French psychologists like their beverages?

froid

What beverage is often very helpful?

Lemon-ade

Triceratop Jokes More Triceratop Jokes

What did the Triceratops sit on?

Its Tricerabottom.

How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk?

It squats down on a Triceratops.

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?

A. So they can park in handicapped zones.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget?

You're sure to get a little head

Worship Jokes More Worship Jokes

What do you call a man who worships his own scrotum?

Sacrilegious.

Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives?

Because they'll worship the ground you walk on.

Tight Seal Jokes More Tight Seal Jokes

What does Tupperware and a sealion have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

What was the Walrus doing in the Tupperware store?

Looking for the tight seal

Sherlock Holmes Jokes More Sherlock Holmes Jokes

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom?

OC By process of elimination.

What is Sherlock Holmes' favorite tree?

A-lemon-tree my dear Watson.

Synagogue Jokes More Synagogue Jokes

How do you make a German shepherd?

Put him in a synagogue.

How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.