What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?

Beer in each hand!

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What do you get when you combine a watch and a bottle of beer?

A really good watch.

Why don't women drink beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz.

Man Idea Jokes More Man Idea Jokes

What's a man's idea of a perfect date?

A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack.

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.