What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?

The location of the dirtbag.

What's the difference between Tuna, a Piano, and a bottle of Glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why was schrodinger's cat in trouble with the law?

I don't know, but he was wanted dead and alive.

What if I took the dumbest person I know, got them severely drunk, and challenged them to finish my sentences?

inventor of Autocorrect

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you call an elephant that no one needs?

Irrelephant.

Why did Eddie Vedder take the fiber supplements?

He needed to have an Even Flow.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What'd you call this again?

Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met?

Pork and bologne sammiches.