What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

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Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

because they're still alive.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A salad shooter.

How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian?

Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks?

Because it's black. Sorry.

Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant?

He ordered some NaCl.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

hush puppies

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret