What's white and red, 3 inches long, and makes dudes scream and run away when you show it to them?

A positive pregnancy test.

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Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is brown and screams?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the chicken run around screaming?

Because he had to use the bathroom.

What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him?

Shoots him 8 times in the black.

Dude Jokes More Dude Jokes

Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?

I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."

Where are the colored printers?

I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

3 Inch Jokes More 3 Inch Jokes

What's the difference between "ooo" and "ahhhh"?

About 3 inches.

What's the difference between oooo and aaaa?

about 3 inches