What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

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What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

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What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.