Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What do you call a group of Vigilante Aussie Nuns?

Birds of Pray

What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?

Whirled Peas

Zen Master Jokes More Zen Master Jokes

What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything."

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

Vw Jokes More Vw Jokes

Why do blondes drive VWs?

A: Because they can spell it.

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

Buddha Pest Jokes More Buddha Pest Jokes

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

What type of computer sings well?

Adell.

System Jokes More System Jokes

What do you call the system of honour of French horses?

Chevalry

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider