Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer!

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

Flea Jokes More Flea Jokes

How do you find where a flea has bitten you ?

Start from scratch !

What's a dog favourite hobby ?

Collecting fleas !

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

How do you know the name of a Pokemon?

It will tell you.

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time )

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh?

It is the language of Wales.

What language do farsighted people speak?

Farsi.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What's a terrorist's favorite type of game?

An RPG

What game show do pickles play?

Dill or No Dill

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

Why is Europe like a frying pan?

Because Greece is at the bottom.

What do thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects?

Is it about black people

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.