Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What kind of computer can't sing?

A Dell

What do computers and air conditioners have in common?

Neither work when you open windows.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's the difference between drunk people and black people?

Drunk people are found bars. Black people are found them.

Which part of the Bible won't you find a black man?

The Book of Job.

Mosqui Toe Jokes More Mosqui Toe Jokes

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What did the other nose say to the other nose when it was crying?

It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)

What language do Fed-Ex drivers speak?

Parcel-tongue

Fro Jokes More Fro Jokes

What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?

It fro's up.

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

System Jokes More System Jokes

What do you call the system of honour of French horses?

Chevalry

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

Eastern Europe Jokes More Eastern Europe Jokes

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking?

Crimea River

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat?

The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!