What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

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Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776

Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!