Which one is the boy you've been seeing?

New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why does it take so long to play Israeli sports?

Because all the replays are in shlomo.

What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do radical feminists and Game of Thrones have in common?

All men must die.

Why did Will die?

Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: "Fire at will"

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

How near was the boy to his dad's tobacco stash before getting busted?

Close... but no cigar.

How do you separate the men from the boys in Sparta?

With a crowbar.

Accordion Jokes More Accordion Jokes

What is big and brown and plays the accordion?

Lawrence Elk

What's an accordion good for?

A: Learning how to fold a map.