Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?

The ghoulscorer.

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Why can't New Yorkers play chess?

They're short 2 towers.

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

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What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Why do donuts have holes in the center?

Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.