What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

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Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

What did Sting say to his proctologist?

Don't stand so close to me.

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Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...?

He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp.

What does a redneck Buddhist believe in?

Reintarnation.

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What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

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When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)