Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did Stevie Wonder think when he got a cheese grater for christmas?

That it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Why does Jay Z love Christmas?

Because he's the best wrapper alive.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

A: Women!

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

White Christmas Jokes More White Christmas Jokes

What do you call 7 Irish guys singing "White Christmas?

Racist.

What did the racist ask Santa for?

A white Christmas.

Charlie Sheen Jokes More Charlie Sheen Jokes

What grocery store does Charlie Sheen frequently visit?

Rite Aid

Where does Charlie Sheen shop?

At Winners.