Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

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Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony?

Pharaoh-moans.