Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger?

An egg gets laid before it cracks.

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

What makes the loudest noise in the jungle?

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

Cul De Sac Jokes More Cul De Sac Jokes

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't need a lightbulb when I have the furnace ready.

Who do you call when you need a dock fixed?

A docktor.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch?

Holm School

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?

A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

What do you think I should buy, a cow or a bike?

You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike

What happend when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.