Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

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Why did the investment banker leave her husband?

She was losing interest.

How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I've got this neat candle holder...

How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Juan

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What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....

Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!

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Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.