Why do pirates wake up early on Saturday?

To watch Dablooney Toons!

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Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Where's your buccaneers?

The pirate responds, "tucked inside my buck'n hat!!"

What do you call a pirate that pees on other people?

Rrrrrrrrrrrr Kelly

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why do they like to watch Star Wars on the big screen on aircraft carriers?

They're all about force projection.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday?

Just chilling.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!