Why doesn't Bono like Google?

He still hasn't found what he's looking for.

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Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car."

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Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.

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How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

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Why does Bono sing acapella when he's feeling down?

It takes the edge off it

Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for?

Because he's always standing by The Edge.