How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a pirate that pees on other people?

Rrrrrrrrrrrr Kelly

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals?

Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records.

What did the chicken say after it's wings caught on fire?

Damn, I sure got some hot wings!"

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

How Do You Make A Blind Man Angry?

Give him a basketball and ask him what it says.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

How does Google celebrate its birthday?

With a search party.

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What did the judge order in his whiskey?

Just ice

What are you looking for!?

Just-ice!"