What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."

What is a Dutchman who lost his driving license?

Homeless.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What was left in the bathroom on the starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

Eu Jokes More Eu Jokes

Whats the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU?

Because there is no Turkey

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?

Because they are always losing pounds.

What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?

I don't know but you'd better hope he likes it!

Fast Way Jokes More Fast Way Jokes

Whats the fastest way to a women's heart?

A Knife

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.