What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the investment banker leave her husband?

She was losing interest.

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

Eu Jokes More Eu Jokes

Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU?

Because there is no Turkey

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Who's there ! Bette-lou ! Bette-lou who ?

Bette-lou a few pounds !

Fast Way Jokes More Fast Way Jokes

What's the fastest way to make a skeleton?

Put a leper in a wind tunnel

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.